Deal Breaker

•August 15, 2008 • Leave a Comment

Ek lees.  Ek lees baie.  Ek lees enige iets waarop ek my hande kan kry.  As ek badkamer toe gaan en daar is nie ‘n boek nie lees ek die geskryf agter op die spuitkannetjie.  (3 sekondes if that)  Dan lees ek weer die smse op my foon.  As ek kon, sou ek in die kar ook gelees het terwyl ek bestuur.  Ek lees terwyl ek kos maak, ek lees, ek lees, ek lees.

Liefie weet dit.  Ek het, ongelukkig vir hom, nou ‘n stunning boek gekry wat my besig hou.  Ek het hom in 2 dae cover tot cover gelees.  Ek het afgeskaal op die lees, want mens kan seker nie jou partner drug om conversation te vermy sodat jy kan lees nie?  Of kan jy?  Na gisteraand oorweeg ek dit!

Nou kyk, as ek lees vergaan alles om my.  Ek het nie kinders nie, ek het nie ‘n verhouding nie, ek bly nie in my crappy 2 slaapkamer woonstel waar die sitkamer gordyne te kort is om die hele venster toe te maak nie, ek eet saam met die karakter in die boek, so kosmaak is ‘n bysaak, bly waar hulle bly, het hulle lewe. . .  Weet nie of daar ‘n ander manier is om dit te ervaar nie, maar dis hoe ek dit doen.

Gisteraand het ek kos gemaak om almal se bekkies stil te kry, bietjie gesit en kak praat terwyl ons aan ons vleisie gekou het (dankie Mams vir die steak, dit was stunning) en toe 7de laan begin, my boek gegryp en verder ontdek wat DNA en cloning tot gevolg kan hê.  Niks daarmee fout nie. 

Of so het ek gedink.

Volgende oomblik is liefie weg.  Ek hoor toe die badwater tap in en assume (never assume: it makes an ass/(of)/u/(&)me) dat dit soos elke ander aand sal verloop: “Lief, die badwater is in gaan ons bad.” Ja, ja, ek is bederf :)

Die het toe nooit gebeur nie en ek assume toe verder dat hy wou skeer en hare was en wat ook al dit is wat mans doen as hulle alleen wil bad.  Uhm, ek was verkeerd.  Hy is toe nou hoogs ongelukkig met my wat ‘hom ignoreer en die boek wat belangriker is as om tyd by hom te spandeer’.  Dude, bad move.

Ek is nou nog moerig.  MOET ek dan 7de laan kyk?  MOET ek elke aand vandat ek by die huis kom totdat ek gaan slaap onverdeelde aandag aan hom en die kinders gee?  MOET SE GAT.  Wat van wat EK wil doen en wat EK geniet.  Sit ‘n bleddie van Damme dvd op ( ek kyk NIE movies wat ouens wat vrouens slaan ryk maak nie, ek doen NIE van Damme nie!!! ) dan kan ek mos in rus en vrede lees, jy kan jou dvd kyk en ons kan nogsteeds lê en voetjie-voetjie speel op die bed.

*klap tong HARD en stamp voete op die grond*

Niemand sal my oortuig dat ek moet ophou lees nie.  Gaan nie gebeur nie.  Ek lees dan tot as ek moet werk en die grootste krisis, voor die gemors van gisteraand, in my lewe is dat al my bloggers ophou blog!!!  Dankie DGS dat jy nog effort maak!  DM is af van die lys af, Steve het sy blog sommer delete, Phycotic Secretary is weg. . . ek ervaar groot verwerping en disappointment deesdae as ek my ou computertjie aansit.

So, wat doen ek nou?  Het gesê, in plain ou Afrikaans en in klein woordjies sodat die select few in my huis wat nie lees nie kan verstaan dat dit groot kak gaan veroorsaak.

Ons vorige tiff was oor vriende, ek het baie (gehad) en hy nie.  Hy het gesê in sy ondervinding veroorsaak dit net onnodige wrywing en issues.  Ek het gehuff en gepuff en getantrum en hy het voet by stuk gehou en gesê hy verbied my nie om enige iemand te sien nie, hy sal altyd gemanierd en vriendelik wees as ek iemand oornooi, maar ek moet weet ek is sy beste en enigste pel en dis nou maar hoe dit is.  As ek nog ander mense nodig het is dit reg met hom.  And I thought: victory!!!  Ek is maar van nature S T A D I G E R as ander mense en ons het dinge so toe gerun, my pelle het gekom en gaan soos altyd, ons het nie daaroor baklei nie en die lewe was lekker.  En toe is dit nie meer so lekker nie.

Ek het ons tyd saam gemis.  Ek het terug gedink aan wat het die grootste invloed gehad om my vorige verhoudings op te bogger en besef, my hel, dit was die konstante toeloop van ‘vriende’ en hulle uitgesprokenheid oor alles.  Van hoe ek aantrek tot hoe my verhouding is.  En ja, van hulle het my man seduce, ander het my verlei en twee egskeidings later kom die man in my lewe en guide my stadig tot die ontdekking dat daar wel lewe is sonder vriende.

Verstaan mooi, ek het nie almal afgesny nie.  Die wat oor is, is die moeite werd.  Die wat weg is kan as volg opgesom word:

“sy” – daar was ‘n paar van hulle.  Twee was my ‘beste maatjies’, hulle het my man probeer steel, tussen ons gekom, vir hom gelieg oor my, vir my gelieg oor hom en na die egskeiding vir jare probeer om hom te kry.  Een van hulle het hom op die einde gehad vir ‘n rukkie, maar KARMA is ‘n bitch en hy het haar gelos vir sy tweede vrou.  Tweede vrou het sommer vinnig met die ander enetjie die scalpel uitgehaal en die bande gesny.  Ek wonder of hy al besef het hoe slinks daai twee was.

“dit” - redelike onlangse afsnyding die.  Ek kan nie genoeg dink hoe dankbaar ek is dat dit verby is nie.  Ek doen nie goed met mense wat lieg nie.  Ek was vir te veel jare ‘n leunaar en ‘n bedrieer, so ek sien sulke mense gou-gou en raak erg verveeld en geirriteerd met hulle.  Kort opsomming: great girl, bietjie mollig, kak huwelik.  Sy skei, verloor gewig, begin rondslaap so erg dat die stories by die werk rondlê en ek gewaarsku word om nie saam met haar uit te hang nie, want dit maak my naam sleg.  Ouch.  Na vele trane en hard dink (ons was soos sussies) en baie mooi praat met haar om te vra of ek kan help is dit nou verby.  

‘hy’ – die een wat my al 5 jaar lank as ‘vriendin’ het en ‘met my wil trou’ maar hy kan nie, want hy moet na sy Ma kyk.  Ons maak dates, dan daag hy net nie op nie.  Na so 6 maande se heartbreak het ek voorgestel ons bly eerder net pelle.  Ons gesels lekker, ons het common interests etc.  Ek hoor so een keer in 3 maande van hom, so vir ‘n week en dan weer niks.  Onlangs het hy gevra hoe dit gaan en my antwoord was “verloof dankie en jy?”  Nou chat hy elke dag met my op google.  Ek het finally die guts gehad om vir hom te sê ek dink nie die vriendskap is gesond nie.  Ons gaan altyd wonder en dit gaan my en sy planne om geluk en ‘n toekoms te hê in die wiele ry.  Dit was nie lekker nie, was nog minder lekker om hom te block, maar dit is so.

Die malletjies wat wel oor is: my roomie van Technikon wat in die Kaap is, my beste maatjie van St 3 af, my nuutgevonde blog maatjies, scrat en vroutjie en my baie besonderse skewe maatjie julle is great, en julle is eerlik en opreg.  Dankie daarvoor.

Aan my beste-beste-beste maatjies: my boeke.  Daar is nie ‘n MANIER wat ek julle sal uitsny nie.  Julle het my al deur te veel donker dae gedra.

Ek ramble, maar ek moes.  Ek voel nou beter.  Ek sal dit kan handle en ek sal hom maak verstaan: die een is nie oop vir onderhandeling nie.  Maar eers sal ek hom ‘n vet soen gee, ‘n stywe drukkie en dan sê dankie dat jy geduld het met my, dankie dat jy my die pad wys (al verstaan ek nie altyd dadelik nie) en dankie, sommer net oor jy JY is.

Lekker naweek outjies.

Tagged

•August 5, 2008 • 3 Comments

Tagged by DGS.  Quite enjoyed doing this one!

What makes it different from the normal boring tags is you get to answer with a picture first.  How cool is that!!

Questions:

1. What is your name?

2. What is your favourite food?

3. Which school did you attend?

4. What is your favourite colour?

5. Which celebrity do you consider to be your favourite?

6. Your favourite drink?

7. Your dream holiday?

8. Your favourite dessert (poeding, nagereg)?

9. What do you want to be when you grow up?

10. What do you value most in life?

11. One word to describe you?

12. Your blog name or nick?

Note: The photos correspond with the questions in the sequence:
1…2…3
4…5…6
7…8…9
10…11…12

Answers:

1.  The answer my friend, is hidden in the sand.

2.  Yes, it is food: garlic.

3.  Translated into bad English: Long Head (aka Langenhoven)

4.  Blue (pic is called on blue on blue – gorgeous)

5.  Any one wearing one of these shirts

6.  Java, java, java.  Oh and did I mention coffee?

7.  Nassau

8.  Chocolate Brownies

9.  At peace with myself and my universe and VERY retired!

10.  Security in my family and safety at home for my kids

11.  Uninhibited dreamer

12.  Happy The Clam :)

Right, I tag everyone dropping in on my blog from today till the 10th of August. . . including DM and Cactus Patch!!

For directions on how to make your mosiac, go to DGS’s post on this one.

More Politics – A Picture is worth a thousand words!

•July 16, 2008 • Leave a Comment

Death in an overcoat

•July 10, 2008 • 3 Comments

…aka bronchitis.

Been booked off since Monday, but I’m at work.  Why?  Overdeveloped sense of duty?  Uhm no, last time I took sick leave and was in hospital I got back to work and this was what I got from my boss:

“Gee, you know that promotion I promised you?  It can’t happen anymore, it won’t look good if you get promoted after being off work for so long.”  Ok dude, next time I will make sure that my heart problems are scheduled in advance!

I am not feeling well and I am pissed off at him for not giving a shit.  Says to me on Tuesday: come in every morning, then you can leave at lunch time to get some extra rest, you really look terrible.  Of course I look terrrible that is why I’m booked off numbnuts!  Cold morning air on my chest is a good idea because?  Well, here I am regardless, feeling like shit and getting worse, not better.  Oh joy!

Anybody know of a good arsonist that can burn the place down?  Then I can stay off work, WITH PERMISSION.

The book every woman should read

•July 7, 2008 • 3 Comments

Why Men Love Bitches.

In good ole Afrikaans, bliksem, dit was ‘n goeie boek.  En so waar.  Ek het die ding by ‘n vriendin gekry om te lees so 2 weke terug, ek was vreeslik verveeld en dis al wat sy gehad het.  In die begin het ek vreeslik gegiggel oor als wat die vrou klets.  En toe gaan daar ‘n liggie aan….

Wat sy sê is, for the most part, waar.  Mans soek nie ‘n needy, clingy vrou nie.  Nie nodig om mind-games te speel nie, maar daar moet ‘n goeie balans wees tussen jy wat cater vir sy elke whim en net altyd ja en amen en opstaan vir jou regte.  Can you believe: jy het ook regte in ‘n verhouding en jy MAG ‘n vloermoer gooi.

En oh boy did I ever.  Sy ma het kom kuier laas naweek en ek het vreeslik issues met hom en sy Ma wat so aan die heup verbind is, maar het net subtle hints sy kan toe gegooi daaroor.  News flash: dit werk nie.  Toe vertel ek dit maar soos dit is, skiet uit die heup uit so to speak en maak lekker keelskoon, maar op die regte manier, kort en kragtig, sonder trane en sonder ‘as jy nie. . . . dan gaan ek . . . “ 

Net plain old hierdie pla my, feite gelys (nommer gewys nogal) en gesê die balletjie is nou in jou court boetie, do as you please.

Van toe af is dit ‘n ander man, die goed wat my gepla het is weg.  En nie onder die rug in gevee nie, uitgepraat (ook die goed wat hom gepla het, net so vir die rekord) en nou is dit bliss.  Ek word vreeslik bederf.  Klein voorbeeld: ek het koue voete.  Regtig, ek dink die bloed in my voete is hardegat, want die weier om my voete warm te hou.  Met die gevolg is ek slaap met kouse. 

Vanoggend het ek my dood gesukkel om uit die bed uit te kom.  Okay, ek was nie die enigste een nie, en nee dit was nie van heeltyd speeltyd gisteraand nie!  F en seun is siek, so een hoes in my een oor en die ander een in my ander oor.  Slaap vir my = 0.

Ek het, soos elke ander oggend, koffie in die bed gekry, maar dit het nie gewerk nie.  Die volgende oomblik word die kombers vat my arme disadvantaged voetjies afgeruk en net toe ek wil bitch word my kous ook afgepluk . . Imagine hoe verheug was ek met daai verwikkeling.

Nou kyk, ek is oor die algemeen nie ‘n bondeltjie sonskyn nie, maar in die oggende is ek ‘n draak: 8 ure sonder nikotien en caffiene does not make me a happy woman.  Cruela de Ville het NIKS op my in die oggende nie.

. . na die kous af is, voel ek net salige hitte omvou my ou bevrore voetjie en woeps, daar is hy warm.  Dieselfde gebeur toe nou met die ander voetjie.  Hier staan hy by die voet van die bed, all smiles en met daai leep oog ek-is-lief-vir-jou kyk en skewe smile en sê: ‘Ek weet jou voetjies is koud, so ek het jou sokkies vir jou gaan warm maak in die tuimeldroeer.  Gee gou jou klere dan gooi ek dit ook vir jou in.”

En daar krummel al my weerstand en ek dink: jy is dalk ‘n bitch, maar jy is ‘n bleddie LUCKY bitch!

Lekker week!

Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity

•June 17, 2008 • 6 Comments

Got the title in an email from a very dear friend.  Thought it was a pretty darn good heading for the post today.

After six months in a really great relationship (yes, me, happy) he popped the question.  Uhm, I said yes.  Now the question is. . . was that the right answer?  For some reason, I inspire every man in my life to a proposal and then all hell breaks loose.  So, now I am petrified.  Maybe I should’ve said no and just enjoyed what we had?  BUT, there are children to think of, examples to set.  See the dilemma here?

Okay, so it’s not official-official yet, it’s kinda hard to ask the parental unit for permission when she’s 7 continents away, but she’ll be back on Thursday and he is rehearsing like crazy *giggle*.  Not even the kids prepare this hard for their school speeches and, of course, he has rewritten it several times ( I kid you not).

For interest sake, it’s a really nice ring:

And yes, I know it’s not about the ring, but it’s still pretty nice, huh?  I refuse to put the picture of it on my finger here, because MAN, I never realised how U-G-L-Y my hands were.  Will have to get a hand model for the wedding photos :o )

Anyway people, have a good week!  And pretty please, some opinions on right or wrong answer?  And no “well, that it something only you can decide blah, blah bullshit” ok?  Hit me hard, hit me with your opinions, show no mercy.

Accidents

•May 26, 2008 • 3 Comments

What defines an accident?  If someone skips a red light and does this to your car 

is it an accident or can you beat the shit out of them? 

This is what I did yesterday afternoon: went to the ‘in-laws’, on my merry way back home, this lady really wanted to meet me (I guess) so she ran a red robot and drove right into me.

So we exchanged details, the traffic police (bless them) showed up, took our statements and the cars were towed away, no-one injured.  Insurance will take care of everything, after all, that is what we pay them for right?

Ok I didn’t get much sleep, doesn’t take much to keep me awake and a shock like this certainly doesn’t ease one off to sleep, but nonetheless, inconvenience aside, I accepted.  What else could I do?

That is till now.  This woman has called me about 10 times today.  Seems that her insurance isn’t paid up to date and she now wants me to pay half of the damage to her car.  Uh, NO.  Then the threats start: I will change my statement and say that you ran the red light (in her statement, she said the light WAS green for her in any case, it wasn’t).  When that didn’t work, she changed over to: I will tell your insurance you weren’t driving (which in fact, I was) and I will get witnesses to testify to both of these claims.  Mmmmm, alrighty then.  I didn’t panic, I just got pissed off.

The crowd that gathered around the accident yesterday was a black mayority, all the while getting more and more worked up because I refused to let myself be intimidated, even after I was called a ‘white bitch’ and various other colorful nicknames.  The one real witness that there is, gave the police her details and told the truth: the lady in the red car (no that is not me) skipped the red traffic light and hit the lady (LADY, the only other people in the car with me were MALE) in the green car (yes, that is me).  Now, the lady in the red car declared yesterday that she does not have any witnesses, she told the POLICE that there were no witnesses.

Please, I might be a bit slow, but if there weren’t any witnesses that she was aware of, where did she get them now? 

Now, right after the accident the crowd was decidedly racist, which completely pissed me off, so what are the chances that there will be a fair hearing if this ends up in court?  I am now ignoring her calls, in fact, all calls from unknown numbers, since her brother has now also started calling trying to bribe/convince/threaten me.  I have told my insurance about the threats and the calls and the statements etc and I’ve also told the lady that she must take this up with my insurance and that there is nothing I can do to help her.  I cannot, however, stand the fact that there is a new story that she throws my way every time she calls.

I hope that she realises that she cooked her goose herself.  If she changes her statement to the police now who do you think they will believe?  Regardless, the truth shall set you free and I have the truth and an honest witness on my side.  I only wish that this robot had a camera, where are those traffic camera’s when you need them??

Da Mario, early 90’s

•May 23, 2008 • 11 Comments

Here they are, the long awaited pictures of ole DM, back in the day!

Political Bullshit

•May 22, 2008 • 1 Comment

Guys, ( and by this I mean parlaiment) get the fuck over yourselves.  Did you know that this is 2008?  Did you know the ANC won the election in 1994?  It’s been 14 years, when will the AA and BEE stop or at least give the all other race groups a chance?  I have a friend who is struggling to find employment, in the old regime she was too black, in the new regime she is too white.  WTF??

Here’s why I have the bee in my bonnet: yesterday I drove past a newspaper headline on one of those board thingies on the side of the road, Business Day if I’m not mistaken, once again saying that there is a brain-drain in SA.  Duh, of course there is, anyone with a degree and any amount of selfrespect would like to be appointed to a position because of their skills and talents, not just to make up a quota.  Most of the intelligent hard working ‘quota’ employees have a chip on their shoulder, never sure if they were appointed for their set of skills or just to make up the numbers.  How shitty is that?  That is why they want to leave, to prove that they DO have what it takes to make it in countries where their talents and degrees determine if they get the job, not the colour of their skin.  It is degrading for these friends and colleagues to feel this way and to the ‘guys’ I mentioned before: you are not empowering anyone, you are robbing people of their dignity and sense of self worth. 

Sports quota’s?  The most ridiculous thing I have heard of.  Heard over the radio this morning that the SA Men’s Hockey team is now also expected to ‘quotafy’ their team.

Come on, do you remember what sport is about?  The Olympics?  T A L E N T, H A R D  W O R K and sending the best representative in that respective event to do what they do best for their country.  How will any athlete know if they are really good enough to be where they are or if they are just there to make up the numbers.  Once again, an insult to a possibly great athlete to not be sure if he is just a ‘race representitive’ or if he is really talented.

Ever watched ‘Remember the Titans’?  If not, do rent it.

How can we be expected to ‘unite as a nation’ when not everyone gets a fair chance?  Of course that brings about resentment, I am not the brightest crayon in the box, but even I can tell that the tension with the xenophobia is building up to breaking point.  What the hell is the problem with migration and immigration between countries?  I have never heard of Canadians mass murdering South African immigrants?

As for the brilliant ‘we will have this under control by Friday’ statement, I have one question for you dickhead: why can’t you do the same for crime and save your OWN people too?  Diffuse the situation by proving that the crime is not about nationality, rather about criminals, regardless of race, nationality or social standing.

Fuck.  I hate politics.

 

There once was a girl . . .

•May 21, 2008 • 2 Comments

I have been reading blogs A LOT lately.  Picking them off my normal blog check-ups at random.  I particularly liked http://iarewearingthejeanpant.blogspot.com/ 

I admire her sense of humor and adventure and probably most of all, the fact that she can look at herself in the mirror and know that she’s pretty.  That got me thinking . . . and me thinking is at the best of time a really shitty idea.

What defines pretty?  I like Angelina Jolie, I think she is pretty, as is Julia Roberts, Julia Stiles and Meg Ryan.  I also think Lindsay Lohan has got a certain something and Scarlet Johansen is a babe.  My fav and prettiest girl is Holly Marie Combs (she is THE BABE).  I don’t look anything like any of them, so why do some men find me attractive?  I wish I could see what they see, sometimes I come close to believing F when he says I’m gorgeous and then, as fate would have it, we walk past a store window and I can see myself, or that ever horrid invention: the mirror.  SCREEEEEEEEEEECH.

I am (ha-ha-ha) plump ( I am not allowed to say fat anymore, maybe just the mere idea jacks up the cholesterol?)  I have annoyingly curly hair, not the ‘nice, sexy’ curls, the OMG, you should be black type that is petrified of moisture.  As soon as a cloud pulls in front of the sun, my hair curls away from the air, closer to my head like a centerpede when scared.  Brown hair, brown eyes, bland face.  sigh, what I wouldn’t give to have 1 pretty day.

So what, to you, makes someone pretty?  Do you ever look at yourself and think: Hey, not bad?